by Julia Leikin, Spa Coordinator
This Valentine’s Day, as most everyone turns their focus to relationships with others, we feel it’s especially important to pay close attention to the self. Whether you love celebrating this holiday, are feeling isolated without a romantic partner to spend the holiday with, or are experiencing the pressure of expectations on an existing relationship, taking some time to turn inward can help support your inner narrative.
We are all bombarded with talk of the importance of “self-care.” But what does something as individual as self-care have to do with something as selfless as relationship? And how can self-care fit seamlessly into a relationship without feeling self-ish?
In working to offer our love to another, often we are at risk of losing touch with our love for ourselves. Maintaining relationships, romantic or otherwise, can be energetically tiring. Nurturing your relationship with yourself is the first and most crucial step to building a healthy relationship with another person. You can’t pour from an empty cup, the old adage says. If you are feeling down, overworked, burnt out, stressed out, anxious, or unsupported, how can you expect to hold space for these same feelings in a loved one? Odds are, you can’t. At least not for long.
Not only does taking time to nurture yourself help build up your own energy to care for others, it also sets a precedence for independence. In relationships, there is often some expectation of dependency. “What good is a relationship if we don’t support each other?” one might think. Support from loved ones is vital. Equally important, however, is developing the tools to support yourself on a day-to-day basis.
This can look totally different for each individual. Some of us might really need some regularly scheduled alone time. It is okay to ask for space from a loved one! Taking a personal day to do something that nurtures your soul, stimulates your mind, or soothes your body can do wonders for your overall well-being.
Maybe going outside and connecting with nature fills your cup more than anything else. Or perhaps the opposite is best: taking time to disconnect from the world entirely with a float in a sensory deprivation tank to satisfy your inner-universe explorer. Regular bodywork to help to refresh your body and keep aches and pains at bay may be the kind of support you crave.
If routine self-care is new to you, or something you’ve tried but just can’t stick with, take time to explore different options. Finding your “thing” (or combination of things) takes time and experimentation.
Not everybody likes to be alone, and that’s okay too; self-care doesn’t have to be done solo. Whether you’re romantically involved or not, quality self-care time with a loved one can be an amazing way to simultaneously strengthen a bond with another and show some love to yourself.
Couples massages are the perfect way to combine me-time with us-time. Sharing healing space with another creates intimacy and opens the door to learning about each other on a deeper level. In time, you might even be inspired to learn certain massage techniques to use on each other at home.
A “couples” Mind/Body Exploration at Still Point Wellness provides an opportunity for two people to experience a powerful therapeutic combination. Bodywork from an intuitive Esalen massage therapist helps to deepen one’s connection to and understanding of their own body, while a salt water float opens the door to inner exploration beyond the confines of the senses.
These forms of therapy are just examples of so many ways you can creatively make self-care selfless, nurturing yourself as well as your relationship. At Still Point Wellness, we are deeply devoted to helping our clients be well and thrive in all facets of life, including in relationships of all kinds. And we believe that successful relationships depend on each of us devoting time to ourselves first.
Happy Valentine’s Day! Take care, today and always.
